Waiting with Hope

I read a devotional, yesterday, by Max Lucado. I admire his writing because it always sparks a desire in me to draw closer to the Lord and to evaluate where I am, spiritually speaking.
This particular one was about hope.
Hope is something I thought I understood. Unfortunately, if I'm honest about how I've applied hope in my life, I would have to say it's been about being prepared for the worst but hanging in there just in case the best happens...

Ironically, when asked what my favorite verse in the Bible is, I can answer confidently, "Isaiah 40:31." I don't even have to think about it. It's just always been my favorite.

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not faint."

Only recently did I start looking at this verse closely and wondering what it is that makes it so special to me.
It could be that it's such an empowering verse, filled with the image of being lifted by the Lord out of darkness and weakness. Or, possibly that it evokes the idea of leaving behind the weight of my burdens, to fly into the freedom that God provides.
Both are interesting ways to look at it, but in either case I think I missed the most important concept. The verse says, "They that wait upon the Lord..."

I have to tell you, I am terrible at waiting. I am constantly fussing about how I can't wait for something... to finish a project, complete my degree, decorate my house, master the guitar, go on a mission trip, finish my book, get my finances in order, feel successful as a wife and mother, have my own business, buy my own house, and so on and so on...
Rarely, if ever, do I evaluate my present situation with quiet confidence that I am waiting on the Lord. It's kind of sad when I think about it, because THAT is where hope is. It's in the waiting.

Max Lucado commented in his devotional (from Upwords 03/04/11) that when Noah's dove returned to the ark with an olive branch, Noah was filled with excitement. The olive branch didn't get Noah off the boat. It didn't even let him know where dry land was! It merely reminded him to hope, and that was enough.

I wonder what sort of olive branches God has been sending me that I may have overlooked out of frustration from having to wait?

I'm going to make every effort to learn to wait. Not with frustration and discontent, but with assurance that the Lord is aware that I'm waiting on Him and will faithfully provide me with pure and simple hope.

Immune Boosters

My family has been sick lately. Really sick. Since Christmas, we've had a total of 10 separate illnesses between the five of us! It's ridiculous. I think if I had all the co-pays, lost work hours, and prescription fees that I've spent recently, I would be able to pay for a nice weekend get-a-way with my husband (which, according to some medical studies might actually improve my chances to fight illness.)
Since I avoid harsh chemicals and use only natural cleaning products, I thought it might be wise to "sterilize" my house. I broke down and bought Lysol and, trying not to breathe, cleaned every square inch that could be cleaned with it. I changed out my a/c filters, washed all bedding and made sure everyone was using anti-bacterial soap. To no avail, folks. At least no significant change in our health has been evident. I say this between sporadic coughs and with, yet another, low-grade fever.
I got to thinking that I should research how to "boost" our immune systems. After reading extensively, on Harvard University's medical website, I came to the realization that it's all a big mystery. There is no significant proof that diet, exercise, or stress-reduction have anything to do with the direct increase or decrease of immune response! There are promising studies, but ultimately nothing to hang your hat on. How crazy! I can walk into any store and find a myriad of immune-boosting remedies, vitamins, drinks, etc... and yet none of them have been PROVEN to work.
It got me to thinking about my "spiritual immune system." We, who are so quick to trust the latest health remedy, regardless of proven effectiveness, often overlook the proven "life-remedies" we have been given in the Word of God.
The Bible is full of information on the subject. From Proverbs, which is full of practical tips for living a good life, to Revelation which gives us insight into that which is to come. He didn't leave a thing out and there is no further proof required!
If sin is a terrible virus, God not only gave us excellent avoidance strategies, but He provided a CURE!
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23
It doesn't get any simpler than that. When I feel myself start to weaken spiritually, I know that the one and only remedy is to get into the Word and to pray.
It's amazing to me. There is no co-pay, no adverse side-effect, no risk of recurrence.... Nope.
It was finished.

If we had the cure for the common cold, influenza, or cancer, wouldn't we share it? We would surely receive awards and worldwide recognition, but even then, there is no promise of eternal life here on earth!

Such a precious gift we have in our Lord and Savior. It makes me want to "immunize" the world! Unfortunately, many willingly choose not to open the Word. They deny the cure altogether.
That is the only catch. Each person must accept Christ for His cure to work. It would be far better to live a life on this earth with cancer or another horrible ailment, then to deny the eternal life promised to each of us if we choose to accept it. Yet so many do just that.

It's no wonder that the last thing Jesus asked people to do before he ascended to Heaven was to go into the world and spread the "cure." (my paraphrase of Mark 16:15)

I think, rather than praying for a better earthly immune-system, I'm going to start praying for more opportunities to spread the good news that there is an eternal cure for all who accept it.

Rescue

At dawn arriving, bathed in light
amidst dew and budding blooms
unaware of pain or fright
dancing onward into days

Swept up in breezes from darker places
subtly warned, though unconcerned with night
blind to exploit behind fond faces
pulled slowly into a haze

Surrounded by fog, no sense of the hour
helpless to fly with wings weighed down
all thoughts muddled, hopelessly cowers
enveloped in madness

Against the weight of past imparting
choice to fight, to spread out wings
a chance to fly as fog is lifting
The Son reaches in.

Enemies

How do we (people) define enemies?
Those who are opposed to us? Those who are set to destroy us? Those who undermine us?

Merriam-Webster says the following:

Definition of ENEMY
1: one that is antagonistic to another; especially : one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent
2: something harmful or deadly
3a : a military adversary b : a hostile unit or force

How do we (Christians) define enemies?
Those who are opposed to Christ? Those who hate us for our belief in Him?

The Bible refers to many enemies, the most consequential of which is, not surprisingly, satan.

Christ Jesus said to pray for those who persecute us and to love our enemies. He asked the Father, in his most excruciating moments to forgive those who hurt him for they knew not what they were doing...

In light of this, do believers even have enemies?

An enemy of the light is not necessarily an enemy of the one holding the light. If ALL have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23), then one person is no better or worse than another. The only difference is the choice of one to accept salvation and become a bearer of light while the other one chooses to stay in darkness. Is that choice, in itself, grounds for labeling someone as an enemy?

I work in a place that is filled with darkness. I don't claim to be the best reflection of the light of Christ, but it is no secret that I believe in Him. My "enemies" know that.
So, are they really opposed to me, or is their animosity a direct result of their opposition to the light that I carry through the grace of God?

Just thoughts, I guess.

Another interesting verse:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Romans 12:20

Those coals are his own shame, aren't they? And if doing good and spreading love and light cause someone in darkness to smolder with conviction, it puts an interesting spin on the concept of "enemy."
What greater good could you do for another person, even an enemy, than to show them the light of Christ?

Who By Fire - Leonard Cohen

How I feel today...

And who by fire?
Who by water?
Who in the sunshine?
Who in the night time?
Who by high ordeal?
Who by common trial?
Who in your merry merry month of May?
Who by very slow decay?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

And who in her lonely slip?
Who by barbiturate?
Who in these realms of love?
Who by something blunt?Who by avalanche?
Who by powder?
Who for his greed?
Who for his hunger?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

And who by brave assent?
Who by accident?
Who in solitude?
Who in this mirror?
Who by his lady's command?
Who by his own hand?
Who in mortal chains?
Who in power?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

A Glimpse of God

To catch a glimpse of God would
breathe life into monotony
spark fire to creativity
set in motion a dance of ecstasy

To catch a glimpse of God would
lay to ruin insecurity
overshadow all infirmity
make a fool of inhumanity

To catch a glimpse of God would
render self as petty
make plans paltry
define science as whimsy

To catch a glimpse of God
To be in the presence of His majesty
To know His Glory
To feel His Mercy
To bask in His Infinity...

Will you show me His face?

Fuel for thought

Garbage in, garbage out. It's a common phrase.

What you put into something directly affects its performance. It's a no-brainer, right?

It ought to be, and yet I find that the general population takes in their daily allotment of "garbage" without thinking twice. I'm not just talking about food either, although it's no secret that America boasts one of the unhealthiest societies in the world when it comes to diet. I'm also referring to mental and spiritual garbage.

Nothing turns me into a paranoid wreck faster than watching the news or reading the paper. Why is it the norm to "feed" our brains with mayhem, gossip, and consumerism? Where is the good fuel?
I resent the fact that I'm forced to ingest large amounts of poison just to stay current.
In fact, I've eliminated most "normal" news sources from my life completely.

But, the media is just the tip of the iceberg. We also have the "entertainment" industry which has convinced millions of people that horrible violence is, not only worth our time and money, but actually enjoyable! I had a coworker comment to me the other day about how she and her husband were watching the new "Saw" movie. Realizing that it probably wasn't my forte, she quickly added, "We both have a sense of humor about that stuff."

Sense of humor? About people being brutally mutilated? I guess I missed something.

I subscribe to a monthly newsletter from Voice of the Martyrs, an organization dedicated to persecuted Christians. This month's issue arrived with a cover that actually frightened me. It shows a woman, badly scarred from being burned for her faith, and she's smiling. She looks like a monster. I was moved beyond words to see what she has been through for her faith, yet I wonder how many of my fellow Americans would actually be moved by seeing her photo? I'm guessing that if I showed it to my coworker, she might wince but would ultimately find it a lot less frightening than the images in her "funny" movies.

I can tell you, being married to a Marine Veteran who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, that the images left behind from the atrocities of war are anything but entertaining. In fact, he no longer considers watching violent movies at all. Isn't it interesting how so many "patriotic" Americans spend countless dollars feeding their brains with Hollywood filth rather than putting the same money toward causes such as rehabilitation programs for those who have seen the real horror show?

It can be reduced to desensitization, I suppose. If you always eat junk, you won't know how good you could feel eating healthy food. If you always watch junk, you won't know how something like the woman's face on the magazine could change your heart.

If Americans were cars, I fear that our freeways would be full of sputtering, puttering, smoke-spewing jalopies who barely recognize the state they're in. We are running on bad fuel, folks.

I know there are many out there who, like myself, strive for healthier intake. There must be. Otherwise, what hope is there for future generations?

I didn't set out to slam everyone who watches mainstream television or movies when I started this post. I think, if anything, I wanted to raise a caution flag to those who might be feeling the effects of the bad fuel without realizing the source of their frustration.

My anxiety levels dropped dramatically after cutting out television and switching to commercial free-radio. I started attending a group which has helped combat a lot of the negative fuel I was conditioned to feed myself. I'm learning more about nutrition and making wiser food choices which will ultimately lead to better overall health.

Change is ALWAYS possible, and in our society, I fear it is crucial if we hope to be a people who truly live the way we are privileged to live in this country. With so much garbage being thrown at us from every direction, we need to learn how to live like we are free, not slaves to our daily intake of bad fuel. We need to put a stop to the force-feeding and learn how to care for ourselves, not live like zombie-slaves who ingest whatever is put before us and then pop pills to stave off the effects of our indiscretion.

Going back to the woman on the magazine cover. She opted for truth over lies, courage over fear, and pain over meaningless existence. She chose good fuel and it nearly cost her life. The best part is, she's smiling.

"Drink Me"

It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little
Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look
first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';
for she had read several nice little histories about children who
had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules
their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker
will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had
never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked
`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
later.

However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured
to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort
of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast
turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished
it off.

`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up
like a telescope.'

And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high

---------

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I don't know how long it took for me to shrink to the height I am now... inside...

and I don't remember who first asked me to drink their poison, the world's poison, though I'm fairly certain that it wasn't "marked poison" either.

I'm just thankful that Jesus offered this glimpse into His unending love that restores

even the smallest Alice.

Perserverance Shmerserverance

Sometimes quitting is the best thing to do.
My husband and I quit smoking over 2 years ago and we couldn't be happier.
I recently quit school, again... and I think it was the best decision.
I'm constantly setting goals for myself that result in nothing but pressure, stress, confusion, and ultimately madness for me and everyone around me. And WHY?
(I'll have to get back to you on that one. I also decided to quit obsessing on things that can't possibly improve my life.)
So, today I'm celebrating the right to QUIT! It is highly liberating.
My friend and I went to an art show yesterday where I saw some decorative "To Do" lists. They had phrases like, "Kiss like you mean it", "Drink Great Wine", and "See the World...from a bike!"

In light of my recent decision to embrace freedom,
I would like to present my "To Quit" List.
Here goes...

To Quit:

Self Bashing
Seeking Approval
Putting Off My Music
Avoiding Fun & Messy Art Projects
Being Irritated By My Children
Refusing to Take Walks
Expecting Perfection from My Husband
Letting Good Books Collect Dust
Hating How I Look
Letting the Enemy Tell Me How Dumb I Am
Trying So Hard
Letting Days Go By Without Laughter


Oh, and I'm also going to quit eating junk (Vegan Diet in 7 days and counting.)

Welcome to my world

I sat at a group meeting the other night with 3 other women who know the meaning of pain. One of them said that I haven't allowed myself to have a voice.
So, here it is. My blog. My voice.
I don't know what I'll have to say, but I'm going to allow myself to say it.

Today I'm struggling with depression and self pity. I wanted a burrito this morning and should have bought one, but I didn't. I spent the majority of the day pouting about not buying one and, instead, downing enough calories to support a small battalion.
Not burrito calories.
Cheez-It calories.
Cookie calories.
Banana-which-was-most-certainly-not-a-burrito calories. And then I felt shame.
So goes today.

I pray that tomorrow is, well, sunnier. Although, I prefer rain.

Welcome to my world.